Jokes:
True Questions
- Can you cry underwater?
- When I was young we used to go skinny dipping, now I just chunky dunk.
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered.
- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
- Why do you have to put your two cents in but it's only a penny for your thoughts? Where does that extra penny go?
- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why is it that people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up every two hours?
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
- Why do people pay to put up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
- If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
- I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up or the class in the first place!
- Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl-Alt-Delete' and start all over?
- Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
- Just remember.....if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
- Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
- If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.
- Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
- Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
- Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
- Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
- Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
